Supporting Siblings of Children with Medical Conditions

When a child is diagnosed with a medical condition or hospitalized, the whole family feels the impact — especially siblings. They may struggle with fear, confusion or jealousy as attention shifts toward their brother or sister’s medical needs. To help families navigate these challenges, Anna Batz, Certified Child Life Specialist (CCLS) at Lurie Children’s, shares her expert guidance on supporting children through their sibling’s illness and hospitalization.

Why Sibling Support is Important

Siblings are often the most overlooked part of the equation when a child is hospitalized. Yet their emotional well-being is essential to how the entire family copes. When caregivers must focus much of their attention on the sick child, siblings may feel lonely, angry, jealous, fearful, or confused. These responses are normal, but they still require care and understanding.

It’s important to recognize signs that a sibling may be struggling. Short-term behaviors during acute illness are often expected, but prolonged or severe reactions may require additional support from a school counselor, therapist, or primary care provider.

Emotional and Behavioral Reactions in Siblings

Siblings may experience a wide range of emotions and behaviors when a brother or sister is hospitalized, including:

• Loneliness – Feeling that peers or others don’t understand what they are going through.
• Sadness – Missing their sibling due to separation or visitation restrictions.
• Anger – Feeling frustrated about the illness, sometimes acting out in atypical ways.
• Fear – Worry about their sibling’s health, medical procedures, or equipment.
• Jealousy – Noticing adult attention primarily on the sick child.
• Confusion – Struggling to understand the diagnosis or why things and routines have changed at home.

Every child is different, and these responses may appear at different times or in varying combinations.

How to Support a Sibling at Home

• Identify a trusted 'safe person' (grandparent, neighbor, aunt)​
• Maintain consistent routines — set pick-up plans in advance​
• Schedule one-on-one time daily, even briefly​
• Validate emotions: 'It's okay to feel sad or mad.'

Signs a Sibling Might Be Struggling

Parents should watch for behaviors that may indicate a sibling needs additional support:

• Social withdrawal – Losing interest in activities they normally enjoy.
• Developmental regression – Returning to behaviors they had previously outgrown, like bedwetting or wanting toys they no longer typically use.
• Sleep disruption – Difficulty sleeping, sleeping too much, or wanting to sleep with parents when they didn’t previously.
• Aggressive behaviors – Physical or verbal aggression toward themselves or others.
• Academic struggles – Falling behind in school or difficulty concentrating.

Short-term behaviors during acute illness are often normal, but if these behaviors persist for weeks or months, professional guidance is recommended.

How Child Life Specialists Help

At Lurie Children’s, child life specialists support siblings by helping them understand their brother or sister’s diagnosis in developmentally appropriate ways. Using therapeutic play, real medical materials and language fit for their age, they help children process what is happening and promote positive coping. Specialists also work closely with caregivers to help them understand what their children may be feeling and to offer guidance on how to communicate honestly and effectively.

Lurie Children’s prioritizes family-centered care, meaning focus and care are offered to everyone impacted by the diagnosis. The hospital is proud to provide family friendly spaces designed to help children take breaks from the hospital environment, like the Panda Cares Center of Hope. Here, trained staff and volunteers are available every day with playful, creative, educational and engaging opportunities. These not only serve as a distraction for siblings, but enrich the time they’re spending at the hospital and help quiet the overwhelm. Taking time away from the bedside is a healthy and encouraged way for siblings to self-regulate, process emotions, and recharge.

Explaining Complex Information and Preparing for Hospital Visits

Before a hospital visit, preparation is key to helping siblings feel more comfortable and less fearful. Parents can use pictures of the hospital setting, social stories, or books to explain what their sibling might see.

Helping siblings understand medical situations in a way that is age-appropriate can reduce fear and confusion. Some strategies we use include:

• Developmentally appropriate language – Explain procedures in terms children can understand, avoiding technical jargon.
• Clarifying misconceptions – For example, explaining that “sleeping during surgery” is not the normal nighttime sleep they are used to, but a temporary sleep that prevents pain, using medicine.
• Visual aids and materials – Photos, social stories, real medical equipment, and medical play materials can help children grasp complex information.
• Honesty and transparency – Avoid withholding information. Children are observant and often notice change in dynamics and fill in gaps themselves, which can increase anxiety. We courage parents to give siblings the opportunity to process and cope in healthy ways and reinforce trust between all family members.

Child life specialists are trained and skilled at tailoring explanations to each child’s age, developmental stage, and individual needs, promoting understanding and healthy coping.

Supporting Siblings at Home

Balancing the needs of all children can be challenging, and it’s important for caregivers to give themselves grace. Finding small ways to spend individual time with each child, whether it’s reading together before bed, watching a favorite movie, or taking a short walk, can make siblings feel seen and valued.

When siblings express big emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear, try to acknowledge what they are feeling instead of minimizing it. Phrases like, “It’s okay to be sad or mad. This is hard, and your feelings are normal and okay to feel,” help children feel understood. Encourage healthy outlets for emotion, like drawing, journaling, music, or active play. Workbooks and books that address sibling emotions can also help children process what they are going through in a healthy way.

Proactively acknowledging how the family dynamics, routines and attention might be changing in light of another child’s diagnosis is one of the best ways to get ahead of difficult emotions. Reinforcing your equal love and care for all siblings will help with the overall resilience of the family.

Knowing When to Seek Extra Help

Short-term changes in behavior or mood are common when a child is hospitalized, but prolonged or severe reactions may signal a need for professional support. If siblings experience persistent social withdrawal, ongoing regression, or behaviors that put themselves or others at risk, caregivers should contact a school counselor, therapist, or pediatrician for guidance.

Supporting siblings through a child’s illness takes patience, honesty, and empathy. With open communication, consistent routines, and opportunities for individual connection, families can help every child feel loved, secure, and supported—even during challenging times.

Resources

Families can find additional support through programs and books designed for siblings of children with chronic illnesses:

• “When She Was Sick,” written by Anna Batz, CCLS, uses storytelling to help children recognize and name their emotions and spark conversations with caregivers.
• “When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness” workbook is designed for children who process emotions internally.
• SibShops is a national program for siblings of children with chronic illness, with chapters in Chicago and across the country.
• Many diagnosis-specific organizations also offer sibling support groups, camps, and community connections that help families build networks of understanding and encouragement.

About “When She Was Sick”

Anna was motivated to write this book, which focuses on sibling support during hospitalization, in an effort to fill a literature gap she was experiencing on the job as a child life specialist. She recognized that the previous material needed a refresh and took it upon herself to author this book in hopes that it be a helpful resource beyond the hospital walls. The hope was that “When She Was Sick” would not only empower patient families at home, but particularly those without access to child life services at all.

This piece was also a collaborative effort with Giuseppina Impellizzeri, who designed the watercolor artwork within the book, and has worked as an art therapist at Lurie Children’s for several years.

The book is available for purchase at Lulu.com and on Amazon.com. A Spanish version is also coming soon.